Strong Female Leaders

By Freelance Contributor | Strong Female Leaders

OUR FRAGILE, FRAGILE SELF ESTEEM

"Self Esteem" are two words that have been thrown around a lot. We've defined it, explored it, and exploited it, in life, school and work. When life hits us hard, and our self esteem gets tested, we are all prudent enough to take time and re-build our shattered selves. We've also, after reconstructing, come back stronger than before.

Yet many of us still wonder: what is self esteem? Why is it so fragile? And most importantly, how do we keep our fragile, fragile self esteem in tact, in this harsh, harsh world?

WHAT IS SELF ESTEEM?

According to Dictionary.com, self esteem is "confidence in one's own worth or abilities." It is our self worth and self-respect; and like any prized asset, it's hard to get and easy to lose.

SO HOW DO WE KEEP OUR SELF ESTEEM HEALTHY AND HIGH?

By exercising it everyday, like going to the gym, or practicing for a race or building a skill. And once it a while, we can build our self esteem by watching thought-provoking Ted Talks like the ones below, to keep our spirits high and our minds stimulated.

Ted Talk Self Esteem: Five Best of 2019

1. How to build your confidence -- and spark it in others? | Brittany Packnet | Ted2019

"'Confidence is the necessary spark before everything that follows,' says educator and activist Brittany Packnett. In an inspiring talk, she shares three ways to crack the code of confidence -- and her dream for a world where revolutionary confidence helps turn our most ambitious dreams into reality."

Who is Brittany Packnet?

"An activist, educator and writer, Brittany Packnett uses every platform she has to teach truth that provokes people to action — for the sake of freedom and justice."

Why you should listen to her Ted Talk?

"In her own words, Brittany Packnett is 'a disciple of radical, productive candor. I found, through prayer and practice, that truth provokes change like nothing else ever will. We owe truth our fiercest loyalty.'"

"Packnett cohosts the award-winning Pod Save The People and has penned her first book, We Are Like Those Who Dream, due to be published in spring 2020. She writes for Teen Vogue and other publications, speaks to live and television audiences across the world, and coleads Campaign Zero. Everyday, she uses platforms on and offline to activate people toward action and equip them with the skills and mindsets to make disciplined social change."

2. The Antidote to Low Self-Esteem | Alicia Thompson | TEDxFergusonLibrary

"Alicia Thompson is an international thespian and writer who hails from the 'land of wood and water' known as Jamaica. She is the founder of (AIM) Artistry is Ministry, which provides edification through theatre."

"Alicia uses artistry to uplift and inspire youth, especially girls and young women to help deal with issues such as self-image and self-worth. In a society where the standard of beauty is superficial and modesty is not often celebrated, she is determined to use AIM as an initiative to help change the negative impact."

"She a board member of Advocates for Community Awareness, an alumni of the Parent Leadership Training Institute (PLTI), Parents Supporting Excellence in Education (SEE), and a past recipient of the Bridgeport Parent Leadership Award."

3. Three Tips to Boost Your Confidence | Amy Adkins | TED-Ed

"When faced with a big challenge where potential failure seems to lurk at every corner, maybe you've heard this advice before: 'Be more confident.' And most likely, this is what you think when you hear it: 'If only it were that simple.'"

"But what is confidence?"

"Take the belief that you are valuable, worthwhile, and capable, also known as self-esteem, add in the optimism that comes when you are certain of your abilities, and then empowered by these, act courageously to face a challenge head-on."

"This is confidence."

"It turns thoughts into action. So where does confidence even come from? There are several factors that impact confidence."

"One: what you're born with, such as your genes, which will impact things like the balance of neurochemicals in your brain."

"Two: how you're treated. This includes the social pressures of your environment. And three: the part you have control over, the choices you make, the risks you take, and how you think about and respond to challenges and setbacks."

"It isn't possible to completely untangle these three factors, but the personal choices we make certainly play a major role in confidence development. So, by keeping in mind a few practical tips, we do actually have the power to cultivate our own confidence."

"Tip 1: a quick fix. There are a few tricks that can give you an immediate confidence boost in the short term. Picture your success when you're beginning a difficult task, something as simple as listening to music with deep bass; it can promote feelings of power. You can even strike a powerful pose or give yourself a pep talk."

"Tip two: believe in your ability to improve. If you're looking for a long-term change, consider the way you think about your abilities and talents."

"Do you think they are fixed at birth, or that they can be developed, like a muscle? These beliefs matter because they can influence how you act when you're faced with setbacks. If you have a fixed mindset, meaning that you think your talents are locked in place, you might give up, assuming you've discovered something you're not very good at. But if you have a growth mindset and think your abilities can improve, a challenge is an opportunity to learn and grow."

"Neuroscience supports the growth mindset. The connections in your brain do get stronger and grow with study and practice. It also turns out, on average, people who have a growth mindset are more successful, getting better grades, and doing better in the face of challenges."

"Tip three: practice failure. Face it, you're going to fail sometimes. Everyone does. J.K. Rowling was rejected by twelve different publishers before one picked up 'Harry Potter.' The Wright Brothers built on history's failed attempts at flight, including some of their own, before designing a successful airplane."

"Studies show that those who fail regularly and keep trying anyway are better equipped to respond to challenges and setbacks in a constructive way. They learn how to try different strategies, ask others for advice, and persevere. So, think of a challenge you want to take on, realize it's not going to be easy, accept that you'll make mistakes, and be kind to yourself when you do."

"Give yourself a pep talk, stand up, and go for it. The excitement you'll feel knowing that whatever the result, you'll have gained greater knowledge and understanding. This is confidence."