Strong Female Leaders

By Nan Nan Liu-Maffetone | Strong Female Leaders | Reading Time: Five Minutes Setbacks are a part of life, and they happen to everyone. Instead of focusing on the hurt and dissapointment you feel, focus on how to move past the mistakes, and come out better and stronger. In today's article, you will find practical methods for how to turn setbacks into comebacks. You will also gain a healthy dose of empowerment.

When you follow a lifelong dream and finally make it come true, what happens when things do not turn out as planned?

We’ve all been there at some point in our lives. When new jobs, career paths or relationships get off track, we have to face the losses. Sure, these situations can make us feel like failures at first, but when emotions reside, we begin to solve issues, set new goals, and make progress again. Strong female leaders do not succumb to difficulties. They rethink their strategies and turn setbacks into combacks instead. The methods below can help you do the same:

1. Play it safe? That's not you.

The loftier your goals are, the bigger the gamble you take and the more mistakes you could make. So you might as well commit to having a mindset of failing forward. Once your mind is made up, you operate with a clearer head and are able to focus on the bigger goals and the ultimate vision.

2. Give yourself a time limit to feel bad.

Everyone needs space to deal with disapointment and hurt. When you deny yourself the time to grieve and reflect, you deny yourself the ability to shed emotional baggage. This in turn makes moving forward harder to do.
If you are afraid of getting stuck in an emotional rut, then put a time limit on the grieving. Commit to a day, a week, or even a year if needed. After the allowance has been exhaused, move on by taking the lessons learned and focuing on the facts (what went well, what went wrong, and so on). And make sure you leave all of the emotions behind.

3. Focus on the next win.

Winners move forward, one small step at a time. When you are just picking yourself back up, you might not want to take giant leaps rightaway or think too far ahead. Sure, the big picture still looms in the background. Right now, however, focus on how to get back on the saddle and get moving. Set small, achievable goals, and focus on reaching them one at a time. When you have gained enough confidence, then consider taking a bigger leap.

4. Don't sugarcoat, just learn.

Confidence cannot be faked. When you've failed and hurt your pride, you might really want to self-aggrandice just to feel better. However, facing the situation stoicly may be a better approach.
To regain confidence and avoid self-soothe, one action you can take is to draw out the lessons learned from the experience and attach a value to each one. For example: if you lost a 5-figure account because you were overly ambitious, what would happen if next time, you progressed more steadily and kept the account for the long term? How much more profit will you gain? And there you go! A 5-figure loss just turned into a 5-figure education.
Gaining concrete value from failed pursuits adds a huge boost to confidence. But if you sugarcoat it, you may not reclaim enough inner strength to move on properly.

5. Control your self-talk.

The self-doubt you experience from setbacks can pollute your life, if you let it. During the tender recovery period, it is crucial that you manage how you speak to the person in the mirror. Stay focused on your strengths, values, and goals. Keep your mind focused, sharp and positive. In time, all wounds heal, if you treat them conscientiously.

Parting Thoughts

Setbacks happen to everyone. In fact, the more successful you want to be, the more setbacks you will experience. While we all understand how resilience and adaptability help overcome setbacks, it’s still handy to have clear steps to follow. The approaches above can transform the self-doubt associated with failure into fresh hopes and dreams. So don't let setbacks hold you back. Instead, turn them into comebacks.